Taking a Step Back...

Right now, I have six more pages to write for my 12-page paper that's due tomorrow. Tomorrow I need to meet with my classmate to prepare for a presentation Tuesday morning. I need to read two novels before Tuesday and come up with ideas for my final paper. Oh, and I have a short paper due Tuesday. And another one due Wednesday. A portfolio due Thursday.
    The point is, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by all the work I have to do within the next 48 hours.
    Someone on Facebook posted this gem in which an amateur photographer shot a panoramic view of the night sky. I randomly clicked it and as the night sky filled my screen, I felt so insignificant. All my worries seem so important now but I know that they'll pass and no one will remember them, not even me.
    Some people get depressed when confronted with the insignificance of their life, but these things serve to remind me how beautiful life is. It's so painfully short and filled with hard moments, but there are glimpses of happiness and hope that make me wonder what heaven will be like. Yes, things may suck now, but there's always something to look forward to. And we live in such a beautiful world. I'm lucky to be where I am, smack dab in the middle of an endless universe that's filled with stars. If you were to view the entire universe, I wouldn't even be a speck of dust. But I can see the stars from here.

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Tuesday Rants: Plastic Surgery

It's Tuesday so that gives me permission to rant about something. 

    Recently Dulce Candy, a Youtube beauty guru, uploaded a video in which she describes the plastic surgeries she's done. The part that bothered me and inspired this rant is when she starts talking about her nose. She says that before, her nose was "broad" and "wide" with a bump. She says she wanted a more "delicate, softer looking nose" and now her nose is just as she wanted it. Dulce calls her rounder nose a "clown" nose. She reinforces societal norms of beauty by saying that she wanted a pointy nose and that her main reason for getting a nose job is because her original nose had a bump. 

    Dulce Candy has over a million subscribers on Youtube. She has a fun, bubbly personality. Most of all, she's pretty. Yet, she shows us that she had flaws in her appearance she was unhappy with and she fixed them through plastic surgery. What kind of message is that supposed to convey to her audience? If we don't like something about our bodies, are we supposed to change it instead of accepting the traits that make us unique?

    When I was younger, I liked conventional beauties. I thought long, straight, blonde hair was beautiful and that green eyes were desirable. I thought that you needed big, doe-like eyes and a straight, perky nose to be considered attractive. Now, I've realized that beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes because true beauty isn't something that's dictated by society but something that comes from the person within.

    Whenever I see someone celebrating the diversity in beauty, I think that's a cause for celebration. 

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I Love Freshmen

I used to hate freshmen.

    They're easy to make fun of. They ask for tips on which parties to go to, how to establish good relationships with professors, and directions to a building they're 500 feet away from. Freshmen are so eager to please, willing to do anything that involves alcohol, and naive about how college works.

    Being an upperclassmen, I thought I was all past that. Gone are the days of staying up till 4 a.m. "studying" with friends but actually going on Facebook. Gone are the days of watching bad movies, ordering bad Chinese food, and puking in all the bathrooms on your floor because you don't know your tolerance. 

    I realize, though, that freshmen have this supernatural energy that allows them to do everything and at the same time, nothing. Sure, they join every club, but they also talk to their friends for five hours at night because they don't have homework. 

    Talking to freshmen now, a part of me pities the inevitable crash they'll experience, the realism that will set in. However, I realize that I'm not as grown up as I believe myself to be. A part of me still feels like a freshmen. I still want to stay up late with my friends under the stars, I want to watch bad movies without feeling guilty about wasting time. I want all that back.

    I may be (slightly) more responsible now but a small part of me still embodies all those qualities we think only freshmen have: naivety, idealism, and hope. Maybe it's not such a bad thing to have those traits. Maybe growing older and wiser is overrated. 

Keep thinking,

Candy

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The English Language

I have a confession to make. I used to think the English language was ugly.

    Once my dad, who was born and raised in South Korea, told me why he thought Korean was the most beautiful language in the world. 

    "You can create sounds to describe sensations. The sound of footsteps going up the stairs, the sound of rain on the pavement, the sound of pages turning in a church."

    That always stuck with me. Language is descriptive. When we have the right words to describe what we think, that's beauty right there. It's art. That's why I have tremendous respect for authors, whose jobs are to find those right-fitting words and create something out of them.

    Even though a part of me still thinks English is an ugly language, I appreciate it when I read something beautiful in English. Most people don't use it to its full capacity. When I read something that describes a sensation perfectly, I swoon. It doesn't even have to use complex words. One of my favorite quotes is by Anais Nin: 

    A leaf fluttered in through the window this morning, as if supported by the rays of the sun, a bird settled on the fire escape, joy in the task of coffee, joy accompanied me as I walked.

Isn't it beautiful?

Keep thinking,

Candy

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Myers-Briggs Personality Type

You know what's really popular? Myers-Briggs. Mention it in any social setting, and people will all start comparing their personality types, pulling up the test on their iPhones so that those who have never taken it before will be able to find out, then and there, who they really are.
    Do I sound a little sarcastic? I think the Myers-Briggs types are fascinating, and can hold some truth for many people. However, I don't like the idea of putting people into a box. Does knowing your personality type mean that others can get to know you just by reading your Myers-Briggs? What's the point of getting to know anyone, then? Every person is full of contradictions and nuances, which is why I'm a bit skeptical of set personality types.
    Today, I decided to take the test again. A few years ago, I took it and was an INFP. I've had people tell me that I'm probably extroverted, and recently I do find myself enjoying time with people more than spending time alone. OK, so these things change, right? I took it again, and got ESFP. After reading descriptions of INFP, ENFP, and ESFP, I've found that all three fit me in different ways.
    My conclusion? Myers-Briggs is fun, but not wholly accurate. People, stop taking the test so seriously.

Keep thinking,
Candy

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Thursday Thoughts

It's almost Friday!
    I know that Fridays are considered the golden day, but personally, I love Thursdays. It's that transition day when the week is winding down so you feel lazy and content, but you're anticipating the weekend so you feel excited and buzzed.
    THE LOW: I got a paper back for a literature class, and the teacher gave me a C.
    THE HIGH: It was my birthday yesterday! Happy birthday to me.
Random thoughts this week...
    1. A high school Spanish teacher was fired after parents found out she modeled nude for Playboy before. Read the article here. Do you think it was justified?
    2. I've been playing around with Adobe Illustrator, and it's been fun messing around (see the above image--my first creation! I promise I'll get better with time.)
    3. I've been jamming to Drake's "Hold On, We're Going Home." Click here for a cover by the talented Joseph Vincent, mashed with JT's "Suit and Tie."

How is your Thursday?

Keep thinking,
Candy

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Amortentia

I have always been fascinated by this one potion that first makes an appearance in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Amortentia. It's the strongest love potion in the world and has a different aroma for everyone who smells it.
    I've always wondered, if I ever smelled it, what would I smell? What smells are most attractive to me? I like to think I have a good nose, and my sense of smell has always been important to me. Plus, smell is the strongest memory trigger; it can call up memories instantaneously. It's fascinating that out of all our senses, smell recalls past memories the most. The scent of warm laundry reminds me of my bed. The aroma of chai tea reminds me of Kenya. Marc Jacobs' Daisy perfume reminds me of my best friend, Sarah.
    What smells do you love? Personally, I can't resist the smell of freshly ground coffee beans, Herbal Essences shampoo, warm laundry out of the dryer, and sesame oil. Do the scents we find appealing reflect something of us, or are they arbitrary?

Keep thinking,
Candy

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Goodbye Facebook

I've decided to deactivate my Facebook.
    As a college student, I've seen many friends deactivate their Facebook accounts, usually to waste less time. There seems to be some idea that Facebook is the reason why students don't study. I admit, there are some days when I spend hours on Facebook, but for some reason I don't buy into the idea that Facebook is why people refuse to study. It seems like too easy an answer.
    So why am I deactivating my Facebook? I've realized that Facebook was replacing real communication for me. Instead of asking people what they were doing, I'd see their mobile uploads. Also, I hate how Facebook seems informative, but distorts reality. For example, I see couples uploading pictures of cute lunch dates, only to find out that they're fighting constantly.
    In short, Facebook is deceiving. I would like to talk to people about their lives face to face, rather than comment on their wall with "let's catch up!" Time to turn my comments into real life actions.
    What do you think? Are we all better off without Facebook, or is it revolutionary?

Keep thinking,
Candy

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Etymology: Compassion

Compassion.
    When we're suffering, we'd rather feel nothing at all. We'd prefer a white canvas, untouched, over one splattered with paint. We push our emotions away.
    My friend told me that this was compassion, and that it was a gift. It made me want to know more about what the word means, so I looked it up.
    Compassion comes from Latin; com- means "together" and pati means "to suffer.
    So, the prefix com- means "together," which is simple enough. To do some further digging, I looked up the meaning of passion. There were multiple origins aside from the Latin. I found that the Greek pema means "suffering, misery, woe" and Late Latin "passio" which means "strong emotion, desire" (rendered from the Greek pathos).
    Basically, compassion means to suffer together. Why is this a gift?
    To feel is what makes us human. It's how we were created, to have emotions and desires. Part of the beauty of being alive is joy, which is completed by sorrow. We suffer, we laugh; we cry, we dance.
    I guess it's better to feel than to not feel at all. If we didn't feel sadness and anger, we wouldn't feel happiness and joy. It's hard to accept, but it's true.

Keep thinking,
Candy

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Song of the Day: Two Door Cinema Club's Changing of the Seasons

Two Door Cinema Club is an indie band from Northern Ireland. Their first album, Tourist History, was released in 2010, and they just released their EP, Changing of the Seasons, on September 30.
    Compared to their first album, Changing of the Seasons sounds smoother, slicker. Along with their title song (posted above), I love "Golden Veins." Two Door Cinema Club knows how to lay down a beat that complements the song's lyrics. Out of all the indie bands out there, they consistently release music that not only sounds good, but makes you want to move and groove. Most indie artists I love make me think, but they make me think and dance. Now, that's rare.
    Give them a listen. If you enjoy indie music, you'll love them.

Keep thinking,
Candy

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Malcolm Gladwell: David and Goliath

Everyone loves an underdog.

    Just look at movies like 300, Remember the Titans, and Rocky. These are all stories of courage, stories that have an undercurrent of vitality coursing through the narrative. When the underdog wins, it's inspiring. Suddenly, the world is open to possibilities. That gym you've been avoiding? Go run five miles! That girl you've been too shy to talk to? Ask for her number! You can do it!

    My feelings on Malcolm Gladwell are mixed. A few of his books were thought-provoking (see my Book Recommendations) and a few fell flat. He writes with ease and conviction, but some of his theories leave me feeling skeptical, especially his tendency to put the incalculable into a statistic. If there was one chapter I hated in Outliers, it was when Gladwell wrote that Asians have a "built-in advantage" in mathematics. Perpetrating stereotypes Western people have of Asians never sits well with me. If I have to hear one more person tell me, "Yah, I read in a book once that the you Asians are really good at math because you don't learn English first" then I may have to burn my copy of Outliers. 

    What I do like about Gladwell is that he explains concepts that most people take for granted. In The Tipping Point, he tries to explain why something can become popular overnight. Sure, some of it is obvious (everyone has that charismatic friend that knows everyone; how useful is she when you're looking for a place to crash?) but it's nice to have a book dedicated to decoding phenomena we see in every day life.

    My gripe about David and Goliath is that Gladwell once again takes the immeasurable and distorts it to fit his own agenda. For example, Gladwell interprets Goliath's "come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field" (1 Samuel 17:44) to mean, "I need you to come to me because I cannot locate you otherwise." One of Gladwell's main points for David's surefire victory is that Goliath had vision problems from acromegaly. And his evidence for this is "many medical experts." He's vague, maybe because the story of David and Goliath took place thousands of years ago so there's no statistic to give.
    As someone who believes the Bible is true, I don't have a problem with Gladwell using the Bible or referencing it; he can interpret it however he wants. However, Gladwell leaves out the biggest character in the story of David and Goliath-- God. From a literary standpoint, God's role throughout the Bible is complex and varied. Without God, the Bible would be a completely different story. In dissecting a Biblical story without God, Gladwell weakens his argument and fails to address God's role in the story.
    There is so much more that can be said, but hopefully this post got you thinking.

You can purchase the book here.

Keep thinking,
Candy

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Tuesday Rants: Fashionable Charities

Lately I've seen a growth in fashionable charities.

    What do I mean by "fashionable charities?" These are for-profit companies that have some kind of charitable element, but may give consumers misleading information on how much they donate and to whom they donate. 

    One of the most well-known of these is Toms Shoes, a for-profit company that operates on a "one for one" policy. For every pair of Toms Shoes bought, the company donates a pair to a child in need. Sounds good, right? 

    There are a whole slew of criticisms on Toms, and I don't particularly want to go into the details so I'll lay them out for you quickly: giving people shoes takes away from local businesses; the shoes are made through third-party manufacturers; it does not work alongside community organizations; it assumes that people need shoes when they may not.

    In short, I'm skeptical of organizations that claim to do good if they are not transparent about their policies. If a company is being vague about how much they donate, and where they donate to, then I get suspicious. What are they hiding?

    I think we need to be conscious of where we buy things and what companies we are supporting. I fully support charities and for-profits that support sustainable growth and work alongside the community.

    Before you buy from a company that claims to donate money to so-and-so, take the time to read all the fine print. Are they clear about their practices? Do they align with your philanthropic goals? Do they work alongside existing community efforts? What charities are they in partnership with?

We are stewards with what we have been given. What will you do with what you have?

Keep thinking,

Candy

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Late Nights

My view from my chair

I like to stay up late, because at night everything becomes so quiet and solemn.

    Right now, I'm lacking in motivation to read for class tomorrow. It's one of those things that you know you should do, but you also know you'll do fine if you don't.

    It's hard to do work at night because I like to enjoy my nights. I like to listen to music (currently listening to Stwo's "Lovin U") and browse the Internet for interesting articles. I think I mostly enjoy being by myself. I love being with people, but I also enjoy my own company. I've never understood people that say they're bored alone, because I feel like you should be the most interesting person you know. A quote that stuck with me all throughout high school is from Oscar Wilde's Lady Windermere's Fan when Mr. Dumby says, "I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly." Seriously, you are the only one who knows yourself best, so why not take the time to get to know yourself a little better?

    In a completely non-narcissistic way, I love being by myself because I've learned to love myself. Yes, I have my flaws and insecurities, but I accept that I am a human being. And I am confident in my abilities and where I am right now. 

    See, these thoughts can only come in the dark of night. When it's morning, I'll probably read this and think I'm crazy.

    Jekyll and Hyde? Maybe.

Sweet dreams,

Candy 

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The Little Things

Sometimes, I get carsick.
    It always happens on the way to Bailey Middle School. Today, the girl I tutor in reading decided to throw a temper tantrum. She has never acted out before, but today I got the privilege of being called a liar, among other things. It was not fun. In fact, I was terrified. How am I going to teach to kids that have behavioral issues?
    Needless to say, I was feeling pretty down on the car ride back to Vandy, also because on Thursdays I start my day at 7:30 AM and end at 7 PM. Thursdays are the longest days. After class, it was 7 PM when we started heading back to campus. I rolled down the window, stuck my hand out, and instantly felt happier and more optimistic. The radio was blaring a cheesy Demi Lovato song, the wind was rushing through my fingertips, and I had a perfect view of Nashville's skyline (see the picture above for a blurry pic shot with my iPhone).
    Exhilaration. It's the small things that get you through the week, and it's the small things I appreciate most from life.

Sweet dreams,
Candy

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Reverse Culture Shock

It's 12:30 AM and half of my suitemates are asleep.
    Julianne and I decided to create blogs in preparation for studying abroad next semester. She's planning on going to Guatemala and I'm either going to London or Switzerland. Taylor's going to Spain; the three of us are all very excited, but we all enjoy living in a suite together.
    One of the biggest blessings this semester has been living with these five girls: Julianne, Taylor, Jodi, Kelsey, and Julia. I always look forward to going home after a long day of classes, volunteering, and work.
    I guess the hardest thing to get used to at Vanderbilt after Kenya is how busy my schedule is. I usually don't end everything I have to do until dinnertime, which means on some days, I only eat dinner.
    Of course, I miss the time I spent in Kakamega, Kenya. Those lazy mornings with bread and butter and two cups of chai make me wistful. Time passes slowly in Kenya. I learned to appreciate the present more fully, because most of the time I would be doing nothing. Here, time whizzes by. After one activity, I jump and run to the next. I don't have any time for reflection until the end of the day (another good reason for starting a blog).
    I miss Kenya, but I don't want to idealize it. I want to remember it honestly--the good and the bad. Most of all, I'm still learning how to incorporate what I've learned there, here. I'm trying to mash cultures together, and I don't know if it'll work, but I'm going to try.

Sweet dreams,
Candy

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